Australia In For 932nd Straight Hot Summer

Australians were shocked today to learn that the Bureau of Meteorology is forecasting hot weather for summer.
A spokesperson for the bureau, Tom Reid, said that they hoped by issuing this warning the country would have time to prepare.
“Most experts thought that with 931 straight years of hot summers, we would be in for some colder temperatures and that I would be able to wear long trousers for Christmas. But…well, we were surprised as anyone. The important thing now is to make people aware so that they can prepare themselves and their families.”
The bureau also warns that there is an increased chance of bushfires when conditions are hot and dry.
“When the bush gets dry, it’s more flammable,” said Reid, lighting a gum leaf to demonstrate his theory. “As a result, we can expect more bushfires when it’s sunny.”
When asked if there were any areas the bureau was especially concerned about in relation to bushfires he spoke candidly.
“Certainly, the bush is our central concern due in part to a lack of smoke detectors and sprinklers. Thanks to effective preparation, we are confident that there will be fewer bushfires in central cities and beaches.

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