Clinton Admits, “I Made Mistakes With Email”

Hillary Clinton has conceded she was reckless with regards to her use of email.
“I join one of those daily deal sites,” she told a Select Committee hearing. “I just wanted a cheap manicure, but then I started getting emails every day.”
A visibly emotional Clinton struggled to maintain her composure as she spoke of falling victim to ‘clickbait.’
“The ads on YouTube are the worst,” she said, holding back tears. “All I want to do is check out the latest Justin Bieber video, and then some guy pops up telling me how I can get super rich by using his system. I mean, who can resist that?”
Select Committee Chairperson, Congresswoman Angela Hammersly, then commented. “I’m sure we can all relate to that Madam Secretary, it’s always some guy with a sweet Lambo or Ferrari.”
Clinton nodded, with her head bowed. “Then I registered for Bed Bath and Beyond’s catalogue. It never stops, they keep telling me about their latest duvet designs and toilet brush holders. These are things you don’t need that many of, but I….I’m sorry.”
“Take your time Madam Secretary,” said Congresswoman Hammersley, giving Clinton time to compose herself as the relief of coming clean with the American people took it’s emotional toll.
“I even joined some site that offers cheap deals on flights at certain times of the day. I mean, all my flights are free – why did I even want that?”
The hearing continues, with several special witnesses being called, including Daily Horoscope site owners, and motivational speaker Tony Robbins.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s