Mexico Responds To Trump’s Hardline

Mexican President, Enrique Peña Nieto, has responded to Donald Trump’s reassertion that the Mexico will be responsible for payment of a new border wall by presenting a counteroffer.
“Donald Trump looks at the Mexican people as all racists do; by using narrow-minded stereotypes,” he said, adjusting his sombrero and taking a sip of tequila. “But we won’t be pushed around. When my neighbour asked me to pay for a fence, I said I would pay for the materials and he could pay for the workers.”
Trump, fresh from a campaign stop in Pittsburgh, immediately responded.
“I wrote Art of the Deal and it’s the biggest selling business book of all time, it’s an amazing book. Oh sure, there are a few books that have sold much more, like Good to Great, and Re-Imagine and about a dozen others but apart from those, it’s the biggest seller. I wrote it. The book. I’ve got all the best words and I know a good deal. Alright, you’ve got a deal Mexico.”
Hearing the news as he was finishing his burrito before siesta, President Peña Nieto was delighted.
“Is good,” he said as he fell asleep in his hammock.
Mexico’s Foreign Ministry has since reached out, showing initial estimates requiring the allocation of 11 million workers over a 10 year period for completion and maintenance.”To streamline the process,” said Spokesperson, Jose Garcia, “We suggest that existing illegal immigrants in the United States be granted amnesty, on the condition that they go to the border, step over it and then step back.”
Trump, sitting in his private jet and eating pizza just like poor people do, said this was a demonstration of diplomacy at work.
“I like it. I said they needed to leave, and that’s what they’ll do, right before they come back and build the wall. It’s a demonstration of my genius. I wrote Art of the Deal.”
When asked how the US would pay for the additional 11 million workers on the government payroll, Trump responded with solid policy.
“We’ll just print more money.”
Hillary Clinton was reached for comment, but instead chose to burst out laughing and begin choosing a new chair for the Oval Office.

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