CANBERRA: Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has announced a new strategy to save the Great Barrier Reef. Speaking to journalists and surrounded by his senior ministers, the Prime Minister seemed almost relieved.
“The Great Barrier Reef is one of Australia’s treasures, and for years we have sought out a way to save it from the ravages of decay, which were undeniably brought on by human interference.”
The Prime Minister then held up a map of Australia and pointed at Perth. “Can anyone tell me what this place is called?”
Journalists and spectators looked at each other, but when no answer was forthcoming, Turnbull continued. “This is supposedly a city in what has become known as Western Australia. I did some googling and discovered that nothing much happens over there apart from mining. Having spoken to my colleagues in the Labour Party, we will likely have a bipartisan agreement to sell this patch of land to the highest bidder.”
“And what does this have to do with the Great Barrier Reef?” asked Scott Morrison, disguised as a journalist.
“Good question,” said the Prime Minister. “We will be using revenue from the sale of Western Australia to build an entirely new Great Barrier Reef. This one won’t be prone to decay or…well it won’t be prone to anything. You see, we are going to build it out of plastic.”
A cheer from the crowd perhaps signalled the feelings of all Australians, that finally, the Great Barrier Reef will be able to stand the test of time.
“But what about the people of Western Australia?” asked a journalist.
“All so-called Western Australians will be able to apply for citizenship in the real Australia. Apart from the Fremantle Dockers, because they suck.”
Construction of the new reef will begin shortly, and workers have already started detaching Western Australia from Real Australia.