Turnbull Proposes Selling West Coast to Buy a New Great Barrier Reef

CANBERRA: Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has announced a new strategy to save the Great Barrier Reef. Speaking to journalists and surrounded by his senior ministers, the Prime Minister seemed almost relieved. "The Great Barrier Reef is one of Australia's treasures, and for years we have sought out a way to save it from the ravages … Continue reading Turnbull Proposes Selling West Coast to Buy a New Great Barrier Reef

California Governor – “World Needs to Calm Down”

California Governor, Jerry Brown, has offered what many have called "overly-simplistic solutions to the world's problems" at a press conference held earlier today to review the impact of legal marijuana in the state. Sporting a Hawaiian shirt rather than his traditional suit and tie, Brown seemed flustered when asked if there was a danger that … Continue reading California Governor – “World Needs to Calm Down”

Trump Apologises for People Misunderstanding Him

United States President Donald Trump has apologised to the widow of a fallen US soldier during a press conference in Phoenix, Arizona. When asked if he regrets suggesting Myeshia Johnson was lying with her claims that Trump forgot her husband's name and told her that 'he knew what he was getting himself in for, but … Continue reading Trump Apologises for People Misunderstanding Him

Mexico Responds To Trump’s Hardline

Mexican President, Enrique Peña Nieto, has responded to Donald Trump's reassertion that the Mexico will be responsible for payment of a new border wall by presenting a counteroffer. "Donald Trump looks at the Mexican people as all racists do; by using narrow-minded stereotypes," he said, adjusting his sombrero and taking a sip of tequila. "But … Continue reading Mexico Responds To Trump’s Hardline

Trump To Stop Speaking To Reduce Misquotes

Donald Trump has announced he is tired of being misquoted in the media, and will no longer speak out loud. Instead, he will stare at people and they can imagine what he's saying and clap loudly. At what will be presumably his last press conference that needs a microphone, Trump said, "I am sick, and … Continue reading Trump To Stop Speaking To Reduce Misquotes

PM Grumpy-Pants, Treasurer Sent To Timeout

Malcolm Turnbull, has responded to news of his plunging popularity, with the maturity and pragmatism expected of a world leader. "I don't care," said Turnbull to a group of reporters, as he prepared to be sworn in as Australia's 45th Prime Minister. "Polls are silly, and you guys are all stupid heads." He then covered … Continue reading PM Grumpy-Pants, Treasurer Sent To Timeout